What's the difference between a fanny and an oven?
The oven doesn't fart when you take the meat out.
Little Johnny is sitting, being his cool self in the local park. Along comes Suzi chomping on her piece of gum. "Hey Johnny, wanna play doctor?" Johnny lets out a puff of smoke, "Nah, that's too old fashioned." Johnny takes another drag, "Spit out your gum, I wanna play President."
What comes after 69?
Mouthwash.
Q: What's the difference between 69-ing and driving in the fog?
A: When driving in the fog you can't see the asshole in front of you.
All Drugs have a generic name.
Tylenol is Acetaminophen Advil is Ibuprofen And so on...So....What's the generic name for Viagra?
Mycoxafailin!
What is the difference between a paycheque and a penis?
You don't have to beg your wife to blow your paycheque!
Why do men masturbate?
Because they want to have sex with someone they love.
A man walks up to his friend and says ''why do you have 'R' and 'L' on your hands?'' He replies ''So I know which is my left and which is my right''
”Oh'' says the guy ''Now I know why my wife has C and A written on her panties!''
How do you know when a Essex girl has an orgasm?
She drops her chips!
One day Superman was flying around and then he saw superwoman woman lying on the floor with her legs wide open and in the nude! Superman flew down and decided to give superwoman a good shag.
After 15 minutes, superman has done the business and then flew off to look for more insatiable women.
Superwoman, still lying on the ground, shouts "What the fuck was that?" The invisible man says" I don't know but my arse really hurts!"
A man enters a clock shop and takes out his manhood and puts it on the counter. the lady assistant says to him "sir this is a clock shop not a cock shop" he replies "put two hands and a face on it then"
The cowboy was walking in the woods one day and he comes to clearing. There on a blanket was a naked Indian with an erection. "What are you doing?" the cowboy asks. The Indian answers, "Me tell time." "OK, if you are so good, what time is it?" The Indian looks down at his penis and the shadow it made and said, "It's 2 o'clock." The cowboy looks at his watch and says, "By Golly, you are right!" The cowboy starts walking again and comes upon another naked Indian laying on a blanket. "Don't tell me ... you're telling time also?" The Indian looks up at him and says, "Yes, me telling time." "Okay smartass, what time is it?" The Indian looks up at the sun and down at his penis and says, "It's 4 o'clock." The cowboy is amazed at the Indian. He keeps walking and hours later he comes upon an Indian on a blanket, masturbating. "Don't tell me you are telling time!?" Indian looks up at him and says, "No, me winding watch!"
Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse were in divorce court and the judge said to Mickey, "You say here that your wife is crazy."
Mickey replied, "No I didn't. I said she is fuckin' Goofy,"
Q: What do you call a flight attendant's vagina?
A: A cockpit
Q. Why is it so bad being an egg?
A. You only get laid once, eaten once, it takes 15 minutes to get
hard, 3 minutes to go soft, and the only chick who will sit on your
face is your mother.
Q. What do you call a Serbian prostitute?
A. Sloberdown Mycockyoubitch.
Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?
A. He had his willy stuck in the chicken.
Q. What's the difference between light and hard?
A. It's not as difficult to sleep with the light on.
Q. What do you call a prostitute with a runny nose?
A. Full.
Q. Why doesn't Barbie get pregnant?
A. Because Ken comes in a different box.
What do you call nuts on the wall?
Wallnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chest?
Chestnuts.
What do you call nuts on your chin?
A mouth full of willy.
